Moments I Will Never Live Down and the List My Sister Made Me.

No mater how hard I try no one will ever let me forget the awkward things I've done in the past. But my sister does feel the need to take precautions for the future. She is literally making me a list of things I should not do in public. Most of the things that are on this list I've actually done in the past. It's pretty embarrassing. Now I'm completely unsure as to if I should be offended by this so called list, or if I should embrace it and try to let the list help me. Wait a second, who am I kidding? of course I'm going to be offended! God! Am I the only person who finds my awkwardness charming? It's like it's my schtick right? No? Fine. Anyway, heres the list of things not to talk about in public:
1. When your mom has her period
2. How awkward the situation you are in is
3. Any of your friends being secretly in love with each other
4. Don't make obscure Doctor Who references when no one around is a wholigan
5. Don't repeat what people say in song
6. Don't make fun of reading rainbow
7. Don't ever say you hate a name
8. Don't accidentally confuse the movie repo man with the movie repo men
9. Don't use common names in creating example stories
10. Don't say I'm in lesbians with you. (Although you know it's a Scott Pilgrim reference the rest of the world won't)
11. Don't ever refer to the F word as the Fuck word
12. Don't have a conversation that just revolves around museums, it is likely the other person is uninterested.
13. Don't talk about all the things you've had to eat that day
14. Don't start raving about how awesome and cute your English teacher is
15. Avoid car rides with people over 50
16. Don't stare at girls with worded shirts when the writing is on the boobs
17. No talking about underwear in general
18. Don't say anything about not showering
19. Don't bring up anything illegal you've done
20. Beware slips of the tongue, especially with names.
21. Don't put yourself in hypothetical lesbian relationships unless you are a lesbian.
22. Don't ever call a girl average-looking. (Inspired by Curtis-I am not that mean!)
23. When asked whether you play any sports, don't say "Does eating count?"
24. Do all you can to avoid slow dancing with your grandfather.
25. When someone jokingly says "Slap him!" Don't actually slap him full on in the face leaving a movie-esque depiction of a red handprint.