Monday, June 21, 2010

Dim Witted Bears

One of the main reasons we watch television is for the hot actors on the show. Because, let's face it, who wants to watch something about unattractive people? All shows, with the exception of some shows on the BBC, have at least one attractive character. But I am here today to warn people about something terrible that can happen to hot characters: Dim Witted Bear Syndrome. Dim Witted Bear Syndrome is tragic, and occurs when a character is hot, but big and muscular like a bear. This character is always a little bit (or a lot) on the slow side, which is usually pretty unfortunate because he could have been your next t.v boyfriend. Some side effects of DWBS are looking really huggable (like a teddy bear!) and mistaking feelings that you really like a person, for love (this can happen to both parties involved). A few unfortunate characters who appear to have this are Angel (from Angel), Finn (from Glee), Whitney (from Smallville), and many others. Angel appears to only suffer from minor DWBS do to the fact that he's dumb, but not extremely dumb. He does look fun to hug and the people around him (Fred and Cordy mainly) think they're in love with him, and he thinks he's in love with Cordy. I've had some arguments that he isn't dumb, but he sleeps with Darla. I mean come on! You don't sleep with Darla unless you're completely stupid. Finn on the other hand appears to be exceedingly stupid, fun to hug, and (as displayed in the finale) he thinks he loves Rachel. There you have it: your perfect Dim Witted Bear. Don't confuse DWBS for being fun to hug and making some bad relationship decisions. Clark (from Smallville) for example, looks very fun to hug and he thinks he's in love with Lana for what, 4 seasons? But he does not have DWBS because he isn't stupid. The stupid is the vital key. This syndrome is also known as Fuzzy Bear Syndrome, and Angel's Disease (personally I think it should be Finn's Disease because he's the perfect example, but Finn wasn't around when the rules were made.)

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