What Happened to Vampires?

Sometimes I think I'm the only girl who doesn't like twilight. I personally think it's the dumbest thing ever, but for some reason the rest of the world seems to be hypnotized by it. I do know a few people who also hate it, but most of them just hate it because it's ubiquitous. They don't seem to mind that the plot is not only sexist, but also plainly disturbing. They only mind that everyone else likes it. I find that almost more annoying. I do pride myself in saying that I'm not one of those people who is dissing it without actually having read the books. I have indeed read them, they sucked, but at least I read them. I also don't understand Stephanie Meyer's reluctance in killing any vampires. Not only do none of the main vampires actually die, but she also makes it almost impossible to kill them in the first place. If you haven't figured it out I am indeed talking about the fact that they sparkle. I mean come on! You can't just make up your own rules! If you're writing a vampire novel there are certain requirements. I feel like she's turned vampires into something completely different. It used to be hard to be a vampire, you used to only be able to come out at night, and not be able to enjoy the deliciousness that is garlic. Now the only problem is that you have some unusual eating habits, and you can't seem to get tan. As for the werewolves, they're hot, but I think they're making way too big a deal out of it. For example, today in Barnes and Noble, I saw a bookmark with all the werewolves on it and none of them were wearing shirts. Wouldn't that distract you from reading? Anyway, vampires have really changed. What happened to the kick-ass vampires of Joss Whedon, who were burdened with a soul, making everything bad they've ever done so much worse? What happened to vampires who singed at every cross and spot of sun? What happened to vampires who were, well, awesome?

My Favorite Overused Plot Line.

I've already expressed that my least favorite overused plot line is being impregnated with demon spawn. My favorite would probably have to be when one best friend is secretly in love with the other best friend. This is almost always an unrequited love, but as overused plot lines go it's not a bad one. Besides, if they actually get together for more then like 3 seconds it's not overused, because that only happens in like 3 things. The classic example being Emma, the Jane Austen novel. My favorite example being Ron and Hermione in Harry Potter, they are my favorite couple ever, and I practically have pg. 625 of the Deathly Hallows memorized. Anyway It's by far a superior overused plot line then the 'classic' secretly in love with the popular pretty girl. You may think that this one is only reserved for the really terrible high school movies, but if you look a bit closer you'll see that it is literally EVERYWHERE. It happens in BtVS, when Xander falls for Cordelia in season 3. I actually don't mind this one too much, because you still get a side of Willow maybe being in love with Xander, but dating Oz. It happens through season 5 of Smallville, because Clark is so desperately in love with Lana. I hate this one, I mean geez, can he just get over her? But Smallville does have Chloe being hopelessly in love with Clark, which kind of makes up for it. It happens with reverse genders in Veronica Mars, when Veronica gets back together with Duncan. I personally preferred her and Logan together, it was so weird it was awesome! But then again anything is better then being impregnated by demon spawn.

In Case You Were Wondering:

I have recently been made aware of the fact that I look a lot like the anime character Haruhi from Ouran Host club. It's weird. The only difference is that she has brown eyes and I have blue eyes. Plus, I've only been mistaken for a guy once. If you haven't had the pleasure of viewing Ouran Host Club pretty much the whole premise is that she's pretending to be a guy. And in honor of this I have decided to list some of the best time girls have passed for guys.

Sure She's the Man wasn't the greatest movie ever, but it had it's moments. I still laugh when they're playing soccer and she says she has to be a shirt because she's allergic to the sun.

Being a true Buffy fan I believe that all princess' should be able to kick ass when they need to. Seeing as Mulan is the only Disney princess who even remotely stands a chance in the zombie apocalypse, she is most certainly my favorite and definitely deserving of a best girl pretending to be a guy award.

Few people have heard of this series, but Art is a female pirate constantly passing for a man. You probably haven't heard of it because only the first one was even remotely good.

Being the huge Harry Potter nerd I am, I was determined to work it in to this post. Several girls pretend to be Harry in the beginning of the 7th book using the polyjuice potion.

I wasn't a huge fan of Shakespeare in Love, but you do have to give it credit for having a girl pretending to be a guy pretending to be a girl.

If you get a chance to, read this article. It is one of the most hysterical things ever. Really? I mean, how do you not know? Seriously! It's like a TLC show packed into a magazine article, and is another fabulous example of a girl pretending to be a guy.

Jesus V. Snooki

While par-oozing facebook, I noticed that one of my friends had become a fan of both Snooki and Jesus Christ. Now, I'm not the least bit religious and I still find this disturbing. You can't become a fan of any biblical figure and the Jersey Shore star who recently was arrested, while wearing a shirt that said 'slut'. It's just not right. Perhaps the most disturbing part is that he became a fan of them consecutively. What, so he was thinking "okay I like Jesus, who else do I like... Snooki!!!" No. Just no.

Confessions of a Karaoke Singer.

Is it sad that the people who host karaoke at TGIF's know me by name? Maybe you think so, but I think it's magical. Okay, so maybe it's not that special. But it's still nice to be appreciated even in little ways like that. The thing about karaoke is, it never neglects to make me feel awesome. Even if my voice cracks. Even though I can only sing 4 songs before sounding like a whale who lost its mate. Even though I probably sound like a total douche right now. We all have something like this, something that makes you feel like your worth something. Something that makes you feel like you can mesmerize even the sharpest of minds with your insane powers. Something that we turn to, time and time again, so that we can be awesome.

I've got elegance.

Instead of the usual late night fiasco of me finding terrible music bought on my itunes the next morning, this morning I woke up with "We've got Elegance" in my head. For you non-musical whizz's this is from the classic musical Hello Dolly. Now I'm pretty sure I fell asleep watching this last night. But I woke up in my room, and I fell asleep on the couch. Now I'm randomly bursting into song, making everyone around me think I have musical turrets. Anyway, watching musical's late at night makes them seem much more realistic. Plus, I dreamt in song last night. If you ever saw the musical episode of Even Stevens it was strangely similar to that.

BEST. PICTURE. EVER.

There is very little that would make this picture more awesome. It's got everything from Joe Biden, to a Spaceship!!!!! I highly recommend photoshop as a pastime. BEST. PICTURE. EVER.